


I'll be fine.

by misswritingobsessed



Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Mentions of PTSD, Support, hinted romance - Freeform, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23312116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misswritingobsessed/pseuds/misswritingobsessed
Summary: “We’re going to get through this, Jason. But you should know that it’s okay not to be fine.”
Relationships: Mandy Ellis & Jason Hayes
Comments: 12
Kudos: 49





	I'll be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> A request from the lovely 'mcgarretts-seal-pack' over on tumblr. I hope this is kind of what you wanted! Hopefully, it's not awful. Any and all mistakes are mine.

Mandy had to admit it was worrying to receive a text from Emma with nothing more than a simple sentence. The young girl's name flashing up on her phone made her stop what she was doing and answer it without a second thought. 

‘Can I call you?x’ the text read, and Mandy wasted no time in replying, telling her she was happy to speak to Emma, hoping it was something to do with college, maybe boys, and not something else. 

Mandy picked up the phone on the first ring, pushing her files to one side as she said hello, trying to gage the tone of Emma’s voice. 

“I’m sorry for calling so late, Mandy.” 

“It’s not a problem, you can call me anytime, sleep doesn’t really fit in with the job.” Mandy replied with a quick laugh. 

“I was actually wondering if you were still on base, and if you could come over?” 

Mandy picked up on the hesitation in the teens voice, hearing the worry and imagining Emma sat outside, maybe on the front steps trying to make the phone call in private. 

“Of course, I can be over in twenty minutes. What’s wrong? Are you all okay?” 

“It’s dad, he said he’s okay, but,” Emma paused. “Can you just come over? Please?”

“Of course,” Mandy was already packing up her bags. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” 

Mandy didn’t think about getting from her office to her car, and she barely registered the route she took on a regular basis from the base to Jason’s apartment.

When she knocked on the front door, she glanced around, she couldn’t see anyone, or any signs that Jason had gone and ruined another bookcase. 

When Emma answered, she could see the relief on her face, “Emma, hey,”

“He keeps saying he’s okay, but he doesn’t seem it. Keeps muttering about lives lost and mission failures. I thought we’d be okay, but it was scaring Mikey, so I called you.” 

Mandy reached out, not yet stepping into the house, but pulling Emma into a hug. 

“You did the right thing. I meant what I said, anytime you need anything, all you have to do is call me, okay?” She felt Emma nod into her chest and waited a few moments for the young girl to compose herself before they walked into the apartment. 

“I told Emma she didn’t need to call you.” Jason said from the kitchen. He was leant against the sink, bottle of beer in hand, but Mandy could see his hands were trembling.

Mikey was sitting at the table, head down, looking at one of his books that Mandy knew he wasn’t actually reading. 

Mandy put her bag down, stepping into the kitchen area, putting a hand on Mikey’s shoulder, a way of saying hello, before she moved to stand next to Jason. 

“Did you ever just think that, maybe, I wanted to come over?” Mandy asked gently.

Jason chuckled, shaking his head, turning to the fridge to get Mandy a bottle of beer, which she gladly accepted when he handed it to her. 

“We’re worried about you, dad. I was scared, that’s why Emma called Mandy.” Mikey spoke up for the first time, his eyes not leaving the book on the kitchen table, but the worry evident in his voice. 

Jason sighed, and Mandy could sense the frustration. “I am fine. What, I’m not allowed to think about my fallen brother, or failed missions now? Why were you scared, Mikey? Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine,” He raised his voice only a bit, but it was enough to let Mandy know it was a bad night. 

Mandy looked between both of the children, before she glanced at Jason. “Why don’t we take a walk?” 

Jason took a moment before he answered. “I don’t need a walk.”

“We can talk, Jason, about whatever you want. Or drive, but you know, the kids have things they want to do.” Mandy tried.

“You’re talking to me like I’m going to do something stupid!”

Mandy shook her head, “I’m asking if you want to leave the house, Jason, get some fresh air.”

Jason opened his mouth to speak again, but Emma beat him to it.

“Please, dad.” Clearly, things had been off for a while.

“Fine. We’ll go for a drive.”

“You two,” Mandy said, looking between Emma and Mikey, “have you eaten? Your dad and I could go pick up some food if you want some?” 

“Like a burger?” Mikey said, lightening up a little bit. 

“Is that what you want to eat?” Mikey nodded, and Mandy chuckled, “Okay, Emma, what about you?”

“Burgers and fries sound good.”

“Jason, wanna go pick up some food?” 

Jason nodded, putting his beer down, “But I’m driving.” 

The drive was silent for the most part, which neither of them minded. The upside of knowing each other for years is that they both became comfortable with the silence, comfortable with odd comments, mean comments at times, two highly emotional people with jobs that didn’t call for emotion, they had to get it out somehow.

“Emma just called because Mikey was worried. I told her if ever she needed anything to ring me and she did. She’s just trying to do what’s right.” 

Jason sighed heavily, “I know that, Mandy, I know that. But she shouldn’t have to call you, they shouldn’t feel unsafe.”

Mandy put her hand over his on the wheel, “They don’t feel unsafe, Jason, they just want to make sure you’re okay and right now they don’t know how to do that.” 

Jason stayed silent for a while, the only words leaving his mouth where to order food.

Once they got back to the house, Mandy smiled at the children, both of them looking hopeful that the drive had helped, even if they didn’t really talk.

“So,” Jason got her attention while she sorted out food in the kitchen, “will you stay the night? Just in case, you know, I need someone?” 

It was as close as he was going to get. He wasn’t going to outwardly admit something was wrong, although Mandy knew that the moment she walked through the door. 

“Of course, Jason.” 

\----------

“I’ve been thinking about last night.” Jason whispered quietly, it was early morning the kids were still asleep, but Mandy was awake.

“Everyone has bad days, Jason, yesterday was just one of them. You didn’t shoot anybody, but we could all tell that something was off, you weren’t you.” 

“I can’t have bad days, Mandy. I have a team to run, I have two kids. I can’t walk around muttering names of fallen brothers, I have to pull myself together, I have to be fine.” 

They sat at the kitchen table, coffee slowly going cold as they began an emotional conversation.

“You know that’s not true. You don’t have to be anything. What you’ve been through, the things you've seen, Jason, there is no shame in admitting you need help.” 

Mandy felt lost. She knew they’d need to talk, but she thought she’d have more to say. She knew she was the first person he told about the PTSD, something she’d suspected for a while, but then he was getting help, seeing a therapist, but now he was trying to do it alone, and Mandy knew he’d slip sooner or later.

When Jason said nothing, Mandy tried to keep the conversation going on a positive note. 

“I didn’t know if you wanted to go to the store. The team gathering is this afternoon, what are we taking? Can’t show up empty handed.” 

Jason shook his head, “It hasn’t even crossed my mind.”

“Well, fear not, I am sure I can go to the store and pick up some bits.” Mandy reached for her phone, and began making a list, alcohol and snacks that she knew would go down well. 

“Thank you, by the way. I don’t know if I’ve said that already.” 

“You’re welcome, Jason.” She could have gone into detail, how she would always be there, how he could always call her, count on her, but she knew he understood that.

\----------

“Is dad doing okay now?” Mikey appeared at the side of her, plastic cup in one hand, slice of pizza in the other. 

The team gathering in full swing.

Mandy nodded, “I think he just had a bad day, but today he seems much more like himself.”

“He’s too quiet. He’s with Ray and Sonny, and he’s just too quiet.” 

Mandy pulled Mikey into a hug, while she did, she glanced around, spotting Jason, and even from a distance she knew the young boy was right, he wasn’t himself.

“He’s going to be fine, okay. I’m gonna stay over the next few days, we’ll grab some more food, and your dad will be fine once he’s gotten some more sleep.” 

She didn’t know if that would help, or if anything she was doing would help, but she needed to try.

Emma held her breath a little as she stepped towards her dad. Jason was standing near the lake, everyone else was back surrounding picnic benches, sharing food and beer, but Jason had decided not to join them.

“Hey, dad,” Emma tried to sound positive. “You wanna come join everyone?” 

Jason turned a little, looking back at his teammates. “In a few minutes.” 

Emma nodded, “Mandy said she’s going to stay with us for a few days.”

Emma swore she could see her dad relax a little more at her comment.

“Yeah? She's a good person. She wants to make sure we’re all safe.”

Emma chuckled, “Yeah, dad, she really is. She always checks in with me, you know, when I’m at college. She even said I needed any money, or a visit then just let her know.” 

Jason couldn’t hold back the smile, that sounded very much like something Mandy would do.

“You want to go home, Em?” 

Emma shrugged, “Sure, if you want to go, I’ll go tell Mikey and Mandy.” 

Jason watched her go, wondering if tonight would be better. He knew last night wasn’t bad, or not as bad as it could have been. He knew he was spiralling, and if Emma hadn't called Mandy, he wasn’t sure what would have happened.

He couldn’t find the words to tell her he was thankful.

“Hey,” it was Mandy who pulled him away from his thoughts. “Emma said you were ready to head home?” 

“Yeah, I,” Jason paused, shaking his head, “I’m not fine, Mandy.” 

He felt Mandy take a step closer to him, and he oddly didn’t mind the invasion of personal space.

“I’m not fine, and it’s terrifying me.” He rolled his eyes up to stop the angry tears.

“We’re going to get through this, Jason. But you should know that it’s okay not to be fine.”

“I need to be fine for the kids.” 

Mandy moves even closer, taking his hand. “How about this then, I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine for the kids, for college and hockey, boy trouble and money and whatever else they need, and you can be not fine for however long you need to be.” 

Jason shook his head, “You shouldn’t have to.”

“But I want to, I am willing to.” 

Mandy was glad Emma called. She was glad she stayed the night; she was happy to be staying the week. 

“I’m always going to be here, for you and for the kids. Now, let’s go home.” 

They left hand in hand - silent support, for what Mandy knew was silent suffering. 

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to know your thoughts!


End file.
